This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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