There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
