I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
