yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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