he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
