four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm both gender and math confused
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
