That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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