Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
