I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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