4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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