do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
