Fuck appropriateness.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
