its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
