I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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