tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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