i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
