I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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