I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
