I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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