I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
True strength comes from lack of pants
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
