I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he puts the penis in happiness.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
