worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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