Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
