I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
