my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
