i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wanna passion pit in your ass
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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