That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
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