she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
