can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
