Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
