wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Come share oat with me in your robe
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
