Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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