No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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