ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
