After last night, I could never be a politician.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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