I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
