Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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