I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Randomize
