When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
