i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
