i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The feeling are messing with the penis
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
