I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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