I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
