Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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