the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
