we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
