somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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