Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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