so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
