I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
