I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
