so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
