so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
