Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
