just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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